I Snapped..

Have you ever had one of those moments where you feel like you are a bad parent? Well I had one of those moments today. I was trying to keep my cool but I just snapped.

Let me tell you exactly what happen. I went and picked up baby girl from daycare. Of course she wanted a piece of candy they have sitting out everyday. WhytheH they have candy out for the kids everyday is totally beyond me. What kid needs to have candy everyday? Don't they understand about childhood obesity? Anyway let me get back to the point.

I tell baby girl that she couldn't have any candy and she starts crying. Now, I can handle regular crying and pouting but that is not what this was. This was the fall down on the floor shrieking kind of crying. I get her off the floor and try to calm her down. She continues to scream and try to jump out of my arms. We finally get out of the building without too many looks and get to the car. This is where she decided to turn it up a notch.

I put her in the car and she refuses to sit down in her seat and buckle up. She starts kicking, and unbuckling herself. Finally, I just like fine we will just sit here until you decide to calm down. Well, 15 minutes goes by and there seems to be no end in sight. I got her down and buckled her up and turn the truck on. As soon as I turned the key she jumps up and turns the truck off and is blocking the ignition so I couldn't turn it back on. This went on two or three more times. I popped the mess out of her hand...why? I don't know; because popping her never seems to work no matter where you pop her.

Somehow I managed to turn the truck on and began driving off. She jumps out of her seat again and turns it off the AS I'M DRIVING. I just want you to imagine how dangerous this scene is....I'm driving, she's out of her seat, I have cars behind me and she turns the truck off.   Thank God we were still in the parking lot.  We tried again and I got a little further and she did it again...this time while I was on a main road. I was lucky enough to pull into a store's parking lot but not before I ran up on a curb and almost hit a sign. Did I mention that she is only two?

This is when I SNAPPED....

I screamed...I mean screamed. I screamed louder than I've ever screamed at a football game or concert. She could've killed both of us...over some dang (not the word I really want to use) candy. And what was her response?!? Of course she started screaming back and get this...pinched me and told me "you don't talk to no one like that"

By this point I'm just thinking..."I just have to make it 2 miles to the house". Baby girl finally calmed down and was acting as if nothing happened asking me what was for dinner. Is she bipolar...WTH?!?  We made it home safely and I've calmed down.

I am so sick of these tantrums that she has. I don't know what else to try. Time-out, the corner, popping, reasoning and talking don't seem to be working.

Anyone been through this or have any tips that I could try? I'm willing to try almost anything at this point.

Best Birthday EVER!!

We just got back from my birthday weekend in Atlanta. I'm completely worn out but it was soooo worth it. I was really worried about what my husband had planned. It turned out to be my best birthday ever and I wouldn't change a thing about the weekend.

The original plan was to drive up to Atlanta Thursday night but I was really tired so we decided to leave Friday morning. I kept begging the hubby to let me know what the plan for the weekend was but he refused. Some say that I'm a control freak...I just need to know what's going on at all times. Is that a control freak?!?

We got to Atlanta and just hung out at my brother-in-laws house. I was thinking "There better be more planned then just sitting on the couch all day." Then around 6:00 he told me that we were meeting my mom for dinner. That's cool but not quite what I expected. We went to a pizza place called Chicago's Nancy where my uncle was playing his saxophone. Two of my aunts, two of my cousins were also there and it was really great to see them.

Pizza this big should be illegal

The next day was my official birthday and I was waken up my my precious daughter singing happy birthday to me. To start the day off even better; my sister-in-law made us French toast, bacon, and fresh fruit for breakfast (bye bye diet).

I was then told that we were all going to all have lunch at my favorite restaurant.

Olive Garden (OG)....here we come

When we got there my mom was already there waiting on us. Then I turned around and saw one of my best friend that just moved back form Canada. What a great surprise. My mom told me that we were still waiting on some more people to come. Me being the control freak curious person that I am; I asked her who else was planning on coming. Of course she wouldn't tell me.

More people started coming and it was some of my favorite family members that I don't get to see that often. We finally sat down and the table. I was enjoying my oh so tasty glass of Moscato and then I I looked up and standing there was....

MY BROTHER!!

I hadn't seen my brother is almost six year. I ran to him and hugged him like it was a scene out of one of those sappy movies. I almost started crying but rememberer that my mascara wasn't waterproof. That was the best gift that I could have ever gotten for my birthday. I have missed my brother so much.

The hubby did good! Maybe I shouldn't doubt him so much...

Wordless Wednesday: Precious Moments

It's a set up

I officially think that everyone is trying to set me up for failure. As most of you know; I have set a goal for myself to be able to fit into my size 4 jeans by my birthday. I only have 15 more days and I don't know if I am going to make it.

I have been doing pretty good. I've been doing my Jillian Micheal's workouts almost daily. Even waking up at 4AM to make sure I get my workout in. That is determination if I've ever seen it. My problem however is not with working out. It is with FOOD. Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that I love to eat; especially sweets.

Working in a restaurant is not helping with my diet. How in the heck am I suppose to resist food when I have an smorgasbord of food readily available for me everyday that I work for FREE. I'm thinking about wiring my mouth shut for the next 14 days... To make matters at work worse. My boss decides to bring a HUGE container of frosted sugar cookies in the other morning. I'm proud of myself I only at 8...don't judge me.

My favorite candy is Reeses and everyone and their momma knows this. So of course my Father-in-law who I love so much bought me this for Christmas....WTH man?!?

Yes, this is a 40oz bag of Reeses

I am currently trying to do the Special K two-week challenge and it is definitely a challenge for me. As we speak I am day dreaming about cheesecake, sugar cookies, a medium-rare 18oz ribeyes with a loaded sweet potato. Yes, I know...I'm a  fat girl.

Wish me luck guys or better yet say a prayer for me...time is slowly running out.

I want to break free

I remember the first time that I read Maya Angelou's Poem 'I know Why the Caged Bird Sing'; it took me a while to truly understand what the poem was saying.  The poem can be interpreted to mean a few different things. This poem was my introduction into poetry. Shortly after reading this poem; I began writing poetry and short stories to get out all the feelings that I couldn't share with other people. It's been a while since I've actually sat down to write a poem and I really miss it.....

I Know Why The Cage Bird Sings
By: Maya Angelou

A free bird leaps on the back of the wind
and floats downstream till the current ends
and dips his wing in the orange suns rays and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks down his narrow cage
can seldom see through his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

 I was driving to work the other day and this poem just popped into my head. Lately, I have felt like a caged bird. I feel like my wings have been clipped and I can not fly. I haven't felt like myself lately. There are so many things that I long to do.  There are several things in my life right now that are preventing me from being a free bird and living out my dreams.

These are the things that I am determined to change this year.  This will be the year that I regain myself again and become truly happy instead of pretending to be happy. Pretending to be happy is easy but it is not satisfying.

Is there a poem that strikes a chord with you?